An ambitious and admittedly unoriginal attempt to collect together all the great jokes.  Please submit your own jokes and gig stories by using my guestbook - link on the left.

JOKE 1        What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians?    A drummer

JOKE 2        How do you make a guitarist turn down?    Give him the dots

JOKE 3        How does an orchestra know when the stage is level?    The viola player dribbles out of both sides of his mouth

JOKE 4        Two recently deceased musicians chatting, having just gone through the Pearly Gates:                                      

                                    Muso 1:    "Have you heard that God is getting a band together?"

                                    Muso 2:    "No, who's in it?".                                                                                       

                                    Muso 1:     "Rich on drums, Pastorius on bass, Peterson on piano, Zappa on guitar...". 

                                    Muso 2:    "Wow!, what about the front-line?".

                                    Muso 1:    "Davis on trumpet, Adderley on tenor, Parker on alto..."

                                    Muso 2:    "Amazing, who's singing?"

                                    Muso 1:    "Its this bird that God's seeing"

JOKE 5        Why do girl singers stand on the doorstep?    Because they never know when to come in